Lets just start by saying, I have not written a blog in a while. But… then THIS happened…
As per usual, I went to take my little Roxy outside to go to the bathroom before I head out to work. Also as usual, she ran down the stairs to wait at the bottom. Not as usual, upon reaching the bottom she bolted away. Completely took off. What the hell?! I took off down the stairs too, because she took off toward the street. I see her tearing around the corner, chasing something massive.
Next thing I know, she comes tearing back toward me. You know that look of “oh shit oh shit oh shit”… yep, Roxy was haulin’ back to me with that exact look plastered all over her face. And that massive thing?!… right bend her. The biggest freaking raccoon I have ever seen was now chasing her!
This exact moment is when I put on the “oh shit oh shit oh shit” face. The raccoon is huge! And chasing my dog right toward me! I call Roxy so we can make for the stairs but Roxy runs right into a big bush. The raccoon then sees massive-human me and (thank GOD) takes off the other direction. I then begin to motion towards the dog to get her out of the bushes and she leaps right out and spits a little somethin’ special right onto my feet. That little somethin’ = squirrel carcass. Let me elaborate for a moment here: Big, full size, bloody, skin and skull only squirrel carcass. Still looked exactly like a squirrel, minus all the insides…Right. On to. my. Feet. (insert gag here)
I’m going out on a limb here saying that Roxy must have taken the raccoon’s breakfast, hence the raccoon chasing her for it back (or revenge and death- raccoons are nasty, I wouldn’t be surprised) and as payment for saving her life, Roxy then gifted me the squirrel carcass. Peachy.
Remarkably grossed out, I find a stick and take the squirrel skin & remains to the dumpster. Between all this and then needing to clean my shoes, I was late for work. Hell of a morning. 
